Natural Selection (a fast-talking blues)

Conventional wisdom tells us that opposites attract.
Well, I guess that's true if you're magnets or a couple of snaps;
But when you're pairing up the more sophisticated organisms
Like you and me, you're better off choosing some other syllogism,
More like birds of a feather, or sheep in the fold.
We tend to like the same music, and the same jokes were told
By our great-grandfathers, and we'll pass them all along
To our great-grandchildren someday. Now, don't get me wrong,
I don't claim to be entirely resistant to change
And I've encountered total strangers who weren't totally strange,
But when you're looking for companionship that's certain to please,
What you want to find is someone with irreconcilable similarities.

Now, here's how you do it: Don't be harsh or selective,
Just be creative in the way you see whatever's reflective.
First you mutter something witty that's opaque or obscure,
In a crowd, and if some girl laughs, you sidle over to her.
If she isn't so tipsy that she's laughing without cause,
You can toss off another – I tell you, it's better than applause
When that one, single person you've been trying to attract
Turns back around and she's smiling right at you.
So she's thinking you're not ugly, maybe thinks you're pretty funny,
That's great! Who cares if you haven't got money?
Your looks and your charm have won you a new main squeeze,
Maybe someone with irreconcilable similarities.

Now of course there's always one more side to a coin.
Some folks could be joined at the hip, but they're just too hip to be joined.
And remember, just 'cause someone happens to be whole lot like you
Doesn't mean she's gonna happen to like you a whole lot. Sad, but true.
You gotta roll with the punches, learn to live with rejection.
You won't always be everybody's idea of perfection.
But if you keep on trying, soon you'll make that connection.
There's something almost supernatural about natural selection.
And you'll know that it's right just as soon as you've found it --
Even if you've been around some, you just can't get around it.
And before long you'll both be humming with the birds and the bees
About all your irreconcilable similarities.

You'll be grinning and humming with the birds and the bees
Humming about all of your
Irreconcilable
Similarities.